Day: March 8, 2019

It was yesterday when last we spoke and I was having a wonderful time playing with the internet on our flight to Alice Springs. Things have gone a bit downhill since then. I had been told by my friend Allen that the flies can get a bit intense in this area. I also read in the Bryson book how the flies will not take no for an answer attacking your eyes, ears, mouth and any body part they can access. After a very short walk from the plane into the Alice Springs air terminal I was convinced. We gathered our luggage and headed for the tour bus to again be bombarded by the flies. They repeatedly hit me in the face and ears. My eyes were luckily protected somewhat by my sunglasses. I didn’t care about my arms or legs because of the intense facial assault. Your usually courteous Robert was moving full speed to the bus. I had no care about my fellow travelers. I pushed aside two hunched-over elderly woman for whom yesterday I had opened many doors. Then I kicked the cane from underneath one of the male passengers. I even elbowed Patrice two times in order to make it onto the bus. After everyone was on the bus and we were ready to go Darrin offered fly nets to anyone who wanted one. I screamed, “ME!!!!!” which I think caught him a bit off guard. He looked back as if expecting to see a desperate man clinging to life. And he did see that man, and it was yours truly.

Now we were on the bus heading to the hotel. So I thought. But no, Darrin had us stop at the sign welcoming us to Alice Springs. You know you are in trouble if one of the tourist sights is the welcome to the city sign. Then we headed to a memorial dedicated to Australians who had lost their lives in various wars. This was nice and the flies seemed less in abundance at that location.

Now were we headed to the hotel? No, first a stop for lunch at the Telegraph Station. We ate outside (yes battling the flies) and then took a tour learning some more information about Australian history. I would like to tell you more but at this point all I could think of was Bill Bryson’s book and the people he described who tried to traverse this desert and died. The tour was about 40 minutes but I didn’t hear very much of what was being said. All I could think of was how hot and uncomfortable I felt. At least the facial net was protecting me from the flies. Actually it provided me with some entertainment. I would wait until a couple would land on the netting in front of my mouth and then I would see how far I could catapult them with a big puff of air from my mouth. I know this sounds pathetic but I got pretty good at it.

Then finally we were back on the bus and heading to the hotel. Much to my surprise the hotel was a very nice Doubletree. I hurried in hoping I could get our key and get horizontal in a well air conditioned room. Unfortunately Darrin announced that two of the rooms were not ready yet. Was this my punishment for torturing flies?

But life returned to my body. We got into our room and it is lovely. No one is forcing me to move. I have great WiFi. Still, I am wondering what I am doing in this town. Hopefully later today will give me an answer.

Today is a travel day and we are currently aboard Qantas Airlines Flight 796 heading from Melbourne to Alice Springs. If you have read “In a Sunburned Country” by Bill Bryson you are probably aware that Alice Springs does not have a lot to offer. You might be wondering why we are going there. I am, as well. In his book, Bryson often tells of things that are very curious facts about Australia and then takes a sigh and says how much he loves this country. For example, in Melbourne there is a swimming centre (i.e. center) that is named after former Prime Minister Harold Holt who drowned to death. Let me quote Mr. Bryson, “I love this country”. If it isn’t clear already, I am using free WiFi aboard the plane! Can you hear me sigh? I love this country.

One of the things that I enjoy about travel is embracing the culture, meeting new people and trying to learn the local language. You would think the latter would not be very interesting since Australia is an English speaking nation. Well, it is quite the contrary. As I mentioned before, our tour guide, Darrin, is terrific but sometimes we are not speaking the same language. Here are some examples of things Darrin has said and what I have heard.

I heard: “Our MIT” (thinking the Australian version of MIT) Darrin said: RMIT (Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology

I heard: “Manly Bitch” Darrin said: Manly Beach

I heard: “Shit paddock” (referring to Melbourne in 1835) Darrin said: Sheep paddock.

I heard multiple times: “We are all sortied” (Excuse me?). Darrin said: We are all sorted (i.e. organized)

I heard: “Your recatella” (whatever that is). Darrin said: Eureka tower (also know as Eureka Skydeck which was fantastic)

And my favorite: I heard: “Sean Penn” Darrin said: Swamp hen (seen at the Wild Life Sanctuary).

But I diverge too much; let’s get back to the flight. We boarded a little late but the process went very quickly. Much to my surprise they offered us something to eat. You would never have that happen in the States unless you were ready to cough up about $15 for something awful to eat.

We were offered a choice of “Smoked Ham with Mustard Cheese Sauce on a Baguette” or “Mac and Cheese Frittata with Bacon”. Both sounded wonderful but it became obvious that Qantas is not trying to lure the Orthodox Jewish clientele. The meals weren’t bad even if they did lack something in aesthetics.

In addition to the food, Patrice also got some utensils which included a fork, knife and this thing.

So far the food, off the plane has not been much better than the food on the plane. With the noted exception of the incredible meal we had at Helen and Robin’s home in Melbourne and yesterday’s lunch when we ate at Supernormal (180 Flinders Lane, Melbourne VIC 3000). The restaurant was recommended by Fayla’s cousin, Samena and it was absolutely fantastic. I have to apologize to my foodies since we were so hungry I forgot to take a lot of pictures. The noodle dish and heirloom tomato dish were great. We also had to try the “New England Lobster Roll”. Although it didn’t measure up to the New England lobster rolls we have had at Neptune Oyster in Boston it was certainly equivalent to anything we have had in New York. The pot stickers were great but we had already eaten too much by the time they arrived but our favorite were the dumplings.

We are getting close to time to touchdown in Alice Springs so one last thing. This was on the back of the seat in front of me. I still have no idea what it means.